When A Fellow Sincere Gentleman Is Confused By The Unaccountable Sexist Nonsense Of Unhealed And Undateable Women

Today, our adventurous exploration of 3rd- and 4th-Wave Feminists begins on an unhealed woman's FB Group/Page.

 
Sherri Bothwell

 

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Saying “not all men” is like saying “it’s definitely me”.

Jonathan Miller

I dont get it... some people just find generalization frustrating and dangerous. I understand this is about dangerous men, and that never needs to be silenced. But isn't this potentially harmful to the issue? Your profile states youre "exposing harmful beliefs systems." Is this not just another harmful belief system that can potentially detract from the issue?

If someone says all women are dramatic or irrational, would it be ok? Would no women stand up and say no, not true. Or if someone claimed all *insert group* are violent, would it be wrong if participants of that group speak up, and hopefully OUT, against those causing the harm. While also making it known that those actions aren't who they are or what they represent or align with as an existing group or people. I also understand the concept of "if someone said half their box of cookies were made of shit" argument. But theres so many holes with that analogy, it doesnt really make sense.

Im not trying to be argumentative, im genuinely confused.

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Sherri Bothwell

Jonathan Miller when was the last time you saw a woman say “not all women”?

Never.

Why?

Because, unlike men, we do not center our ourselves in conversations that have nothing to do with us.

Innocent people do not go around, proclaiming their innocence when they haven’t personally been called out

Guilty people do.

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James Apperson

Sherri Bothwell re "when was the last time you saw a woman say “not all women”?"

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Often.

Sign up for any social media support group for survivors of narcissistic abuse.

Every time some man says "women do x thing" or "women are (insert troubled adjective here)", some woman will reply "not all women".

And every single time I see that, I wholeheartedly endorse that response, because generalizing fosters sexist prejudice.

Having different ethical standards for how men vs women communicate about their experiences ... will never be the way forward.

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James Apperson

Jonathan Miller I agree with you fully.

Several years ago, I was sitting in the waiting room of a therapy clinic, a clinic run by a woman who championed capital-F 3rd-wave Feminism.

On the wall of the waiting room was a giant poster about Narcissistic abuse.

The image was of a man and woman in the posture of a heated argument.

The tagline of that poster read "It is ALWAYS HIM".

Is that healthy or fair? No.

But there is no wording we can find for that that will provide the healing necessary for the clarity that such affected persons aren't ready for yet.

Instead, we must either remain silent or expect to be mass-attacked with projected inferences about our personal character.

With this in mind, I've learned to #ReadTheRoom.

If (like today) I feel like volunteering as an outlet for an unhealed person's pain, then I'll make a post like this.

But given the value of my own peace, I seldom bother. This time, however, I'm choosing to be here for a fellow man because I see and appreciate your sincerity.

Such women's prejudiced behaviors (born from pains they aren't healing from) are unfortunate. But it's also very understandable. So I usually just scroll past, with silent compassion.

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James Apperson

 This next video expands upon the point. 
However, a more careful title would have been something like "Why most women strive to be unaccountable, and how our culture enables that".