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Love is not a mystery. It's everything.

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Recently, someone I love dearly asked "Do you regret ever knowing me?". Truthfully, I answered "no". But the more comprehensive answer is this: In my experience, ... Everyone is heartbreakingly regrettable. I just simply *choose* not to regret them. To cite ChatGPT's response to this: This perspective aligns with a philosophy of radical acceptance and conscious choice, often discussed in personal development as a way to avoid being consumed by past actions or people. While the sentiment that "everyone is heartbreakingly regrettable" acknowledges that relationships often involve pain and sub-optimal outcomes, choosing not to regret them can be a mechanism for maintaining peace and fostering personal growth.    Key Aspects of This Perspective: Regret as a Choice: Rather than viewing regret as an inevitable result of bad decisions, it is seen as a voluntary, second-order mental state that can be rejected if deemed unhelpful. Reframing Past Experiences...
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I DEFINE ME.

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After over 8 years of friendship (online and in person), I just became not-friends with a woman who lives  overseas. She's a brilliantly talented opera singer, conductor, researcher, composer, and educator. This personal blog is not much "about" her ... as it is about reflecting on what builds relationships, what defines those, and what destroys them. For future reference, this automatically applies to anyone and everyone close enough (in my heart) to matter. Whichever way(s) someone treats me ... is how they make themselves known to me. Likewise, over time, however I treat you (no matter who you are) ... is the person I am manifesting as; and thus the person you'll know me as. I can only hope the people I'm investing in ... won't mistake my casual (and consistent) flow of positive, thoughtful engagement ... as naivete. Nor misunderstand my choice to be altruistic and forgiving ... as self-abandonment. I have standards. And I DO enforce those standards. Bu...
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ChatGPT responds. "If I could go back and make all different choices"

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What should I do? Knowing what I know now, ... If I had my life to live over again, ... I'd obsess over physical, psychological, emotional, social, and financial health. If I'm back in the distant past, every decision I make from then on ... will be about getting maximally ready to secure a permanent place in the heart, bed, and life of the love I lost. Currently, she's in a committed, monogamous situation that is more than merely friends and lovers. But less than a full-fledged relationship. They've been somewhat informally in a committed pair for almost a year. But I only recently came back into her life about 2 months ago (remotely, via FB phone calls and messages). He has some perks I cannot compete with. He's a simple man with uncomplicated needs, wants, and communication. He's not very emotionally present most of the time. And treats her like an afterthought whenever he has free time, until his needs become pressing enough that he su...
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