The Christian Quest For A Father's Validation

There are many ways
that people who are needy for validation 

can acquire it.

Consider:

Someone
external to me or you
who validates our worth.

Should we look for someone who isn't our own self
to set the terms by-which our sense of worth
and even our very identity
are acquired and maintained? 

I think that leads to worse problems than we start with. 

Worse yet, when those terms and conditions
are a mix of abusive and irrational.

Worse yet, when we're told we better call abuse "love" and better call irrationality "wisdom".

Worse yet,
when their opinions of us
are regarded as "fact".

Worse yet,
when that validation is contingent upon
how useful we are
as a utility;
primarily for that Father's ego 
and secondarily for his other personal interests. 

Worse yet,
when that "Father" is really only a mentally constructed puppet;
whom preachers speak through. 

Worse yet,
when it's a parental figure
who presumes to have ownership of us. 

Worse yet,
when that parental figure claims those rights over us
based on their power to insist;
 "or else". 

Worse yet,
a claim of entitlement
for the alleged "Father" who "brought us into the world";
 something none of us consented to.
 
And yet,
if our life and liberties are a "gift",
then why is it flattering (worse yet: imperative) that we give these back?

Christianity posits that the real gift is the TEST; 
to see who is good enough 
to hand those back to the gift-giver and say "I'll never be worthy of these. Please accept the surrender of my freedoms, so that my continued use of this life ... will be all about you;
forever and ever.".  

Worse yet,
when that parental figure can't even be bothered to run that gambit on us personally;
relying, instead, on other fallible humans to rumor-mill this "message" as a "friendly warning";
mafia-style. 



Worse yet,
when that is framed as a kindness.

Worse yet,
when that is framed as an "undeserved kindness" (the literal meaning of "grace").

Worse yet,
when that "friendly warning" is badly disguised as "love".




Worse yet,
when those expressly Narcissistic ideals
saturate deep down into a victim's psyche;

- crippling their ability to recognize abuse.

Sometimes, that results in someone becoming an abuser;
and not realizing it.

Sometimes, it results in someone becoming the abused; 
and not realizing it.

Worse yet,
when that abusive attempt to leverage authority over every meaningful facet of our lives.

Worse yet,
when that maneuver includes a list of life-changes, sacrifices, and other expenses
that will be expected of us;

along with:
what we're allowed to think, say, or do, 

what our priorities in life 'aught' to be,

what the theme and purpose of our life aught to be,

who we're allowed to love,
how we're allowed to love them,

and even what we're allowed to do with our genitals.

Worse yet,
when all of this is asserted/attempted
by people who bring no evidence that any such parent said-or-authorized any such message. 

Worse yet,
when those mere fallible humans
directly and personally benefit from all the power, privilege, and money they gain
from collecting and "representing" that rumored-real "Father";
who "owns this town and everyone in it".

So then they say "That's a really nice life you have there.
It would be a ... shame
if something bad happened to it.".

All the while,
they are hoping and presuming
we 'aught not notice' that glaring conflict of interest;
as the would-be conquerors over us
posture as "rescuers"
whom (at the same time)
profit greatly
from every convert's sweet surrender.
 
Worse yet,
we're not supposed to notice
that it really aught to be regarded as a crime
to sell fraudulent "Afterlife" Insurance Policies. 

Last time I checked, 
Racketeering schemes (aka: Protection Rackets)
are still illegal;
unless you run those in the name of a popular "God". 

Meanwhile, ...

we're not supposed to notice
that which they advertise as "free" 
is actually fantastically costly.

Further, ... 

Marks are not (ever) fully informed about
all the fine print details of that contract;

a lifelong social contract 
 they are bribed and coerced into;  
 
a contract
mistakenly regarded as:
 a matter of free and true consent. 

Worse yet,
when those mere fallible humans
are competing in a virtual ocean of other rival "messengers".

They all claim that THEIR faction are the "true"
 messengers.

And yet,
none of them 
can make a good case for their claims
over our lives.

Nor can any of them substantiate their entitlement  as being:
any more credible
than any rival faction's claims.

Worse yet,
when the entire effort of those countless competing "messengers"
relies so heavily on:
targeting the especially-vulnerable
in hopes of manipulating cognitions.
---
---

If the entire package
were worthy of the hype ...

you wouldn't need the hype.

People would just NOTICE how much better LIFE IS ...
for people who are in your religion.

But they don't notice.
Because there's nothing to notice. 
So you guys have to stay constantly busy trying to market your toxic snake oil. 

But let's set that aside too.

Let's notice a curious .,. limit
when it comes to marketing your grift.

If even just the pitch itself was actually impressive, ... 

It would be just as easy to impress ADULTS with it
as it is to impress children.

 But it's less often impressive to adults.  

It would also be just as appealing to autonomous, mature, well-educated, emotionally well-regulated, well-socialized humans 
who are happy with their lives ...
as it is 
to people who aren't.

But it works almost exclusively on people who are lacking in at least some of those ways. 

The less well matured the target,
the greater the chance that "message" will have the desired effect. 

Like a contagious disease,
it thrives, survives, and spreads
by targeting vulnerabilities. 

Thus, "outreach" focuses on the very young,
the under-informed, 
and the very desperate. 

Worse yet,
when those aggressive efforts
rely on
emotional manipulations,
logical fallacies,
false-facts about history, science, and human nature, ...
and abusive ideals disguised as the "righteousness" of White Knights executing rescues.
--
--

Validations.

Someone who isn't me
and isn't you

telling me and you 
that our WORTH (even our very worthiness to not-be-killed and discarded like trash)

depends on

and is defined by

some external-persons' view of us.

Not the validation of a parent who agrees with us.
But rather, the validation of messengers who disagree with us. 

These unwitting flying monkeys and groomers
for amateur mobsters  
seek out   
emotionally needy,
identity-dependent,
self-disowning,
self-degrading, 
"lost"-minded,
child-minded,
slave-minded,
wannabe sycophants; 
desperately in search of a super-parent to validate their existence.

Some people really do want to be told they are "good little boys and girls".

Some people are unable to feel like they deserve the full blossom of love
in an everlasting garden of life...

unless someone external to them 
validates their worthiness for such things.

As a result,
many suitors show up to "offer" that;
in hopes to selfishly exploit those needs.  

Some people can't feel good enough about themselves 
without such extreme surrender
to a parent who will validate them
in trade
for them validating "Him". 

"You're the BEST DADDY.
Please tell me I can BECOME worthy of existing ...
and worthy of being not-killed and not-tortured 
because of how well I grovel". 




It's not the style of relationship 
that more ... mature people 
would want to have with 
a "Father";

nor with an alleged representative of a
 father; 
who offers but withholds that validation
pending our submission to "Him". 

But who is "He"?

"He" has many names; 

all of which
are pseudonyms
for the "messenger's" own ego.
--
--

More and more of us, 
every day, 
recognize the abuse
and the abusers
which hide behind the veil. 

And yet, 
when we are told
that anyone
whom has OUTGROWN the need of such validation ...

has outgrown their potential worthiness to be spared a violent end (or worse). 

We are told
that we have "chosen"
the violence which "Father" plans for us; 

- as he cries out (but only from the lips of fallible humans)
"Look at what you're making me do to you". 

 -As if we,
in our hard-earned maturity, 
are somehow wronging them
if we recognize the age old cry of the abuser. 

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Follow up:

A Christian who read this blog today
has replied. 

That reply is addressed in my next blog.
That can be found here. <<< link