Where I am, in relation to Christianity vs atheism

  I don't really wear the "atheist" label.

"Igtheist" is the best default label, if I had to choose one. There isn't anything I call a "God" or "god". I agree with Epicurus' famous quote about it. Nobody worth of the title could possibly exist. But then again, that's really only a matter of personal standards; based really on how we feel about it. And so, at the same time, if someone with different (lower) standards (when it comes to what qualifies to wear a god-crown), I'm fine with that. For example, ... I really don't object to a sun-worshipper pointing to the Sun and saying "that's my God". I would only object (very casually) if they tried to tell me "and that's your God too". Because it's not how *I* feel about the Sun. I've heard all the arguments for why some people worship our Sun. Some of those are even pretty good justifications. It really does shine bright, give life and take it away, etc.. I just am not romantically or emotionally awe-struck and humbled by it in the same way they are. Nor am I convinced it "should be" personified; either metaphorically or literally. But I am fine with it, to see someone doing so. I'm the same way about everyone's/anyone's ideas about "God". Thus, even if someone ever convinces me that "surely there must be" a universe-and-people designer, I still wouldn't call that a god; for the same reason I don't call the Sun a god. "I'm just not feelin' it". As the late Gorge Carlin mused, when it comes to our world, "this is the type of work you'd expect from an office-temp with a bad attitude". I would also maintain that my lack of 'feelin' it' has no correlation to my moral character. I've heard strained arguments from Christians (and Muslims) for how it reveals my desire to keep living a sin-indulgent life. But that is 100% ridiculous.
Consider: 1. I live a more basic and un-indulgent life than anyone I've ever known.
2. Out of all the things I'd LIKE/HOPE to do with my life in the future,
exactly NONE of it is on any list of those religions' "totally not rules" that we better obey "or else".

3. If I secretly knew there was a super-designer but wanted to "keep sinning", I could just be a Deist, or a Stoic-ish pantheist, or a progressive personal-god-theist. Clearly, my non-god-ism has nothing to do with trying to avoid some over-arching moral authority. If I had one, I'd still be doing what I do and not-doing what I don't do. There already is exactly zero% hookers, coke, and ax-murdering in my daily schedule. 4. Pinky, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

I think so, Brain. If we can prove a Christian-fundamentalist God exists, we could join! And then we could sin very very indulgently and then still get an eternal reward of endless, "spiritually"-hedonistic bliss; as one of the Cosmic Big Daddy Dom's, many lemming-Sub throne-lickers. We could even stay late each night to lick the windows.

In any case, my lack of theistic-feeling really can't be rationally or fairly proposed as a valid basis upon-which a Super-Being could justify feeling "personally rejected". Nor does my lack of 'feelin it' equate to "sending myself to" any religion's "Hell", or throwing myself away as trash. When I hear Christians speak of such concepts, I fail to see any meaningful difference between that vs what mental health Drs call "the Narcissist's Discard". The abuser always reasons "look at what you're making me to do you", and then they migrate over to "you chose this". Heaven-forbid they own their own choices to be so irrationally destructive as a force in other people's lives. Although, tbf, at least actually-verified-to-exist Narcissists show up for coffee first, to prove they exist, and to attempt a "close personal relationship"; months or years before they (inevitably) throw a fit from feeling personally judged.

But at the same time, I am open to the idea that the mysterious "something" could be a "someone" (or many someones). For now, I just call it "The Great Mystery", "the All", and "The River". I just don't feel drawn to all the romanticism and pageantry that some people build religions with.
I'm also open to the idea of a Universe-designer/tinkerer/meddler (or many such entities). I'm even open to the idea that some people really are correctly intuiting and/or connecting with a grander "someone"; somewhere in (or outside of) our physical realm. I can't speak to anyone else's lived experience. There could always be more to it than whatever I think I'm seeing. Nor would I attempt to qualify (or "qualia"-fi) or value-rate mine in comparison to theirs. It just really would be nice, however, if people could get the same courtesy from personal-god-ists. Meanwhile, as for the causes of the currently ongoing mass-exodus from Christianity, I agree. A lot of it's because of people reaching a personal breaking point about all the hypocrisy. That's part of it. But it is only one medium-sized piece to a much larger set of drivers.