Redemption And Rebirth. What These Mean To Me.
The moment we solidify our identity with a story ...
so that it validates "who we are, and "what we're worth",
we limit ourselves to it;
unable to see, move, or grow beyond it.
Thus, I would beseech any who listen
to give much thought to which pillars you anchor deep and build upon.
Whatever we build our identity upon
could empower or cripple us.
It will also become the way we evaluate everyone else's worth;
-if we're being consistent.
This is why racism and other "otherings" can be hard to unlearn.
So then, for example:
If a religious person says we all need to be "washed clean",
and
if they think they HAVE been "washed clean"
but I (as an outsider) have not been,
then:
That means I am "unclean" in some powerful sense of the word; in their eyes.
So they won't be able to rightly respect me.
They can SAY they do.
But they just got done telling me exactly why they don't.
And I have hardly any time to spare
for people who speak from two faces.
The less flattering of two faces
is generally the more honest.
I recognize this.
And then I move;
wasting no more time on it.
If someone thinks
* interest in,
*acceptance of,
or
* devotion to
a religious story
is a NECESSARY foundation of:
moral character,
or
our worthiness to even exist,
then:
That means they won't be able to recognize my actual moral character
nor my worthiness to even exist.
Now, I shouldn't have to tell anyone how obviously problematic that is.
--
Meanwhile,
I too have stories about the world and my place within it.
I won't deny that.
But every part of those stories remains open to re-evaluation with new discoveries.
I remain fully open to all such discoveries.
The foundation of "who I am" and "what I'm worth" ... is not the stories.
I HAVE stories.
But I am not loyal to those stories.
Because we cannot be BOTH
* loyal to the pursuit of honest and accountable discovery
AND
* loyal to a narrative.
We must prioritize which of these matters more to us.
Thus, I choose loyalty to some very carefully chosen ideals.
Although, I realize my list of ideals will differ from that of a Religious Fundamentalist.
My ideals ARE my pillars.
Whereas their ideals emerge from out of
non-negotiable stories.
Those stories are their pillars.
But the true bedrock they've dug and cemented those pillars into
is self-loathing.
As a result, our respective ideals are very different.
I provide my own.
Whereas they have their value ladled into a beggar's bowl.
Meager portions of "the good", laced with poison; from the overflowing vats of their masters' bounty.
Thus,
they may decry all "pride" and even self-respect.
Tragically,
they BELIEVE IT
when they are told how unworthy they are for more respect than that.
so that "Father" does not feel insecure around them.
Worse yet, "Father" is a ploy; a mask for the men who claim to speak in "His" name.
Their shepherds
enjoy having sheep.
Sheepified peasants,
likewise,
enjoy having masters.
It has been said that "Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This".
It has been asked, "Who Am I To Disagree?"
To be fair, I recognize that any individual feels
however they happen to feel.
And yet, I find that entire scene quite disheartening.
I cannot, in good conscience, encourage such self-deprivation.
I would say it makes more sense to warn people to be CAREFUL
with how they RELATE to their own ego;
-rather than demonizing anyone for actually having one.
It's only really a problem
if we overfeed it or underfeed it.
It really is fine to feel good about yourself.
--
To test to see IF you feel good about yourself, just say it.
"I am worthy of life and love, in endless abundance;
- even without believing in claims made in holy books.".
--
Too much of a good thing
is always a bad thing.
And yet,
having none of a good thing
is no better.
~Seek balance, in all things.~
With this guiding principle, ...
I take pride (positive esteem) in being:
* compassionate,
* equitable,
and
* courageously, personally accountable
(to self and to others).
I feel "good" about
HAVING those values,
and
striving to LIVE those values.
However,
this is not dependent on
any ~one specific adventure~ in my story.
This is why I write my stories in pencil;
not ink.
If I discover some part of my story that was not accurate,
it's an easy fix.
Along the way,
if I discover ~some ways in which~ I have been FAILING to LIVE by those ideals, ...
I don't need to be "forgiven" by anyone.
I will ASK for forgiveness; from those I wronged.
And I will OFFER to make amends; to the best of my abilities.
I am a firm believer in "Restorative Justice"; no matter which side of that equation I may
find myself on.
But the clearing of my conscience and "moral debt"
won't depend on whether or not anyone forgives me.
BECOMING someone who is no longer thinking/doing/being "the guy who behaved in those ways" ... is all I require of myself.
And frankly, it's all anyone could ever really justify requiring of me.
Allow me to make mistakes; without just writing me off.
But hold me accountable to discover and grow from those mistakes.
--
I see every ~discovery of my failings~ as a wonderful opportunity to grow further.
Once I HAVE risen into BEING that better man, ...
I have then EARNED a clear conscience,
a restored point of self-value,
and a good night's sleep.
Nobody in the Iron Age needed to bleed, gasp, and DIE so that I can be "forgiven".
Instead, that's what I need to do;
for myself and for others.
Anyone who lives by that code
is worth investing in.
On any given day,
the only debts remaining
are those which
* I have not yet discovered,
or
* have not yet finished growing from.
For any failings that cause injury to others, ...
Once I finally become someone ~better than that~,
there is nothing to left to "repent" of;
nor be "forgiven" for.
Only my former self needs to die;
so that the next and better ~self~ rises into a new day.
THAT
is the ~death and resurrection~
I believe in.
Meanwhile,
any actually good "Father"
would certainly grant me
endless TIME and PATIENCE;
as I grow toward my potential.
As well, I should expect however much HELP with those efforts that I may require.
There would not be any "deadline" for figuring anything out
or growing into any particular milestone of progress.
If there is a Super-Father with absolute power over life and death,
then DEATH cannot be justified as "Pencils Down" in the tests of our journey.
Nor could there be any justification for a prescheduled ~Final Judgment~.
Nor should anyone ever be threatened with a literal death; or a fate worse than death.
Nor would it makes sense to blame anyone for being a victim of their own ignorance.
A good Father would impose no such conditions.
They would make no such arrangements.
So if we HAVE a good Father, then we already know he hasn't.
--
Now, if THAT was what any of the early Christian writers had in mind, then;
GOOD FOR THEM.
But if it's not, then:
Oh well.
I won't lose sleep over the limits of ancient religious philosophers.
Claiming to "know the mind of God",
or claiming to speak for any higher power,
is impressively narcissistic.
To even presume being QUALIFIED for such an endeavor ...
is as far away from "humble" as anyone could get.
It's certainly no basis
to exempt such men from scrutiny.
They were only human.
Thus,
we should expect
(with confidence)
they sometimes got some stuff wrong.
But I'm not mad at them for it.
In fact, I learned a lot from
their trials
and their errors.
In any event,
"Perfection" is not a standard any of us should be measured against.
Nor did those men have any responsibility to others
for how WE walk in this world;
except not to intentionally sabotage anyone.
Nor am I responsible to anyone else either
for how THEY walk in this world;
except not to intentionally sabotage anyone.
I value thinking,
and doing,
and being
better than yester-me.
I have extra respect for anyone else who feels and does the same.
I also have limitless patience for those who (instead) devote all of their energies just to survive another day.
This too I understand.
We march forward;
each foot falling
wherever our senses best advise.
The exactly-where and the exactly-how can get complicated.
But the exactly-WHY can become a very simple matter;
once we sort out and retire
from all the why-nots.
--
--
A belief in a final "Judgment Day" and a Heavenly destination, ...
shifts a person's focus and our priorities
to a destination.
That steals value and focus away from the journey and from the NOW.
Likewise, it de-incentivizes personal investment into fixing this world.
It also makes our most precious human relationships
along the people themselves
... expendable.
I find few things to be more tragic than that.
So instead, I raise a glass
To the journey.
Comments
Post a Comment