Me; Redundantly Failing To Articulate; about how I fail to articulate

James Apperson

Shared with Public (on Facebook)



This is me and you;
sharing our most honest moments together:



A few of you are Jackie Chan.

You don't show up often. But when you do, it's because you see some value here.

Most of you are Chris Tucker.

Everyone knows which one they are.

[And yea; I'm the guy in the cool white hat]

[A friend replied]

I still don't get it, but neat!
The seller only sells one type of good and others want other things from him?


[My own further commentary]


See.
This is the problem I'm up against.

My profound lack of communication skills
leaves me unable to say something basic
in just a few words.

It would take me
a long page of words
to fully articulate what I was trying to say there.

Originally, that post was longer.

I went back to shorten it.

Why?

Because nobody is going to read anything longer than that.

So I tried to squeeze the point into a short enough post.

I failed.

So now ... the intended meaning,
which actually does seem obvious enough to me ...
eludes everyone who reads it.

And this problem
is actually the problem the post was about in the first place.

I suck at using words to communicate ideas.

I don't know why.

Maybe it's brain damage.

Maybe it's caused by PTSD, chronic sleep deprivation, or something else that I'm simply not able to identify.

Again, this was actually the point of the pinned post.

This is why I get barely any engagement on Facebook.

Look at the Facebook page
of literally anybody on my FB friend list.

They get much more engagement than I do;
emotes, comments, shares, etc..

They all get a fair amount.

Some get more than others; of course.

Now, I realize part of the problem is that I don't have an established "market value".

If someone like Deborah Grace, or Bart Ehrman, or Derek Lambert, etc... posted EXACTLY the same words as what I post (only for some of my better posts), ...
they'd get a TRUCKLOAD of engagement.

And I realize that FACT
isn't about me.
It's about human psychology.

It's the same reason a world-famous musician could play ~anonymously~ on a busy street corner ... and people would just walk past without a glance ...
on their way TO that very same musician's sold-out performance; with very expensive tickets.

Generally, people value what they are told to value;
 by peers,
by authorities,
and by marketing.

I do take that into consideration.

If a well-known and well-respected philosopher said EXACTLY what I have written (at times; my better stuff), ...
those words would be celebrated as ~timeless genius~.

But it's the gradually lowering quality of what I USUALLY post (and blog, and vlog) ... that's the real problem.

Every year,
the average quality
of:
what I say in writing,
and
what I say audibly, ...

decreases in quality.

You yourself admitted that before; when I shared some voice messages I sent to some barely-known religious author.

Those were messages I sent a few years ago (to him), and then (a year later) to you.

~PRACTICE~
+
Passion
=
gradual
and eventually GREAT improvement;
for all people,
in all matters;
except for people whose BRAINS are deteriorating.
--

For the past 2 years, ...

even most people who enthusiastically share my views and values, 
and whose only reason for ADDING (and/or following) me was to ENJOY my well-worded thoughts on issues ...

have switched from:
a.) enjoying and engaging
to
b.) silently cringing.

In fact,
when asked,
everyone who was brave enough to reply ...
said:
EVEN THOUGH they share my views on the issues I post about, ...
they find my commentaries to be cringe, obsessive, and vitriolic.

Worse yet, they admit I'm increasingly hard to understand.

Even "firebrand atheists" think I should STFU about religion.

Even amateur philosophers and debaters think I should stop embarrassing myself.

Even people who share my views and passions about important social justice issues ...
wish I'd STFU;
 because:
 I keep doing more harm than good, as someone mentally ill-equipped to understand and speak necessary truths to power.

So here I am;
a nobody.

And yes; it's actually fine to be a nobody.

But unlike most nobodies, ...
I keep overreaching.

I keep embarrassing myself,
as a force of hard-cringe
on every media platform that I speak from.

I'm hard to understand.

I'm hard to relate to.

I'm hard to take seriously.

I'm even hard to tolerate.

I also lack the very basic, fundamental ability
to CONNECT with other humans.

A similarly uncredentialled nobody
will have a lot of engagement
and positive feedback.

They'll grow to be liked and low-key celebrated by others;
within the very limited scope of value that IS "social media".

Granted,
 I have a few friends who will invite me to be a panel member on their small Youtube channels.

But they do so out of charity.

In fact, someone recently admitted this to me, as the reason they scheduled an interview livestream; with me as their guest of honor.

That confession left me feeling crappy about even doing the interview.

But they were determined to BE charitable.

 I was, thus, determined to receive that charity;
- with the false implication of a dignified (although, unseen) smile.
--
--

Meanwhile, over here on Facebook, ...

a random few people
will sometimes hit an emote,
or post a quick comment.

Those random few people
are the "Jackie Chans";
 people who will (as seen in the video clip of the pinned post):

stop by,
grab a bite,
thank me,
and then walk away.

Are they just trying to be ~charitably supportive~ of my personal venture on the busy streets of Facebook?
OR
do they actually enjoy a bit of what I serve?

I (usually) can't be sure.

But I am still grateful for it.

And yet, most people who see my posts ... are the "Chris Rock(s)" (as seen in the video clip on the pinned post).

They can't believe how awful is the SLOP I serve.

And they make sure I know it ...
with the deafening silence of their
~statistically significant ~ disengagement.

Most
don't bravely and honestly ~call it out~ like Chris Rock's character did (in the video clip).

Some do.

 Ironically, I prefer it when people do. 

Instead,
most people just passively let me know what they think.
--

So I realize that I'm retarded.

[Note:
Any far-left SJWs who want to make an issue out of my use of that word ... can bite me.] 

So what I need to do is:

1. Get OFF of Social Media.

2. Hang a "white board" in my room; with a list of all the ways I can IMPROVE my mental functions.

3. Incorporate those changes into my daily routine.

4. Find some objective way to measure my mental functions.

5. Don't return to writing, speaking, etc..
until after I recover from what I call my "Flowers For Algernon" story.

6. Prove to MY SELF that I CAN and (eventually) DO 
a.) restore my mind
and
b) become a truly great thinker and articulator.

7. Retire from the PUBLIC; as a success (specifically: in regards to what matters to me).

8. Ride that success into my elder years,
as someone who is loved, respected, and connected, ...
~mutually with~
a smaller, in-person circle of "my people".

9. Never return to social media.

10. Nor return to the in-person people who failed me ... when I was busy falling short and needed some help.

If someone can't be bothered to lay a single STONE in the re-building of the castle-of-me,
(worse yet, if they'd rather tear pieces down),
then they were never worthy of the PERSON they thought I should be.
--
--

I may serve SLOP; every time I speak.

That wasn't always true.

It became true.

And I DO plan to remedy that.

In fact, I am physically doing something about it.

But "I no punk bitch!".
(meaning, I actually do deserve more respect than I get).

I just hate how unhelpful my fellow humans are.

It's not just me
failing them.

The whole reason we have a term like "constructive criticism" is:

It means to "construct";
to build up;

- rather than tearing down
and
rather than the neglect and judgment of being uninvolved with seemingly unworthy projects.