How We Can Know That The Great Flood Really Happened. And How That Validates The Christian Message .

"Genesis wins."
- Joseph Shellim
---
It does.
It wins.
It's all true.


Also, it's the ONLY religious creation theory.
Honestly. No other religions have one.
That's why Genesis wins by default.


That's how we know:


Our sun was created on the 4th "day", after our planet existed.


Vegetation was created on the 3rd "day".


Our sun and our moon are respectively independent sources of light.


Our sun, moon, and stars are inside of our solid metallic dome-sky.


Outer space isn't space. NASA lied. It's actually a vast, unsalted ocean. And that's where the rain comes from.


That's where the great floodwaters came from.


Those waters added tremendous mass to our planet; of course.

During that time, God used superglue, to make sure our sun, moon, and stars didn't get pulled down to earth from the earth's massively increased gravity.


It's a good thing we do NOT revolve around a big SUN,
because that increase of mass would have sent us hurdling either INTO or AWAY FROM that sun, depending on where we would have been in our orbit, at the time.


He also turned Noah's family into people-ghosts, so they wouldn't be flatted against the ark's floor and crushed under earth's new gravity.


That's also why they didn't need to eat for about a year.


He turned them back into regular flesh-and-blood people after the extra mass of water got sucked up,


and after the food-supplying ecosystem got magically restored ...


by the very sort of magic "God" was trying to avoid having to use in the first place,
when he tried to use the flood as a not-magic solution to the initial problems of "evil" that he himself caused (and strangely failed to plan ahead for).

Those same flood waters crushed every cavern inside the earth, under the weight of it;
until our God later uncrushed them.


It also crushed and destroyed everything which lived on the seafloors and ocean floors but couldn't WALK onto the ark (like two of every kind of seaweed, and two of every kind of coral);

until our God later magically un-decomposed it all, uncrushed it all, and then performed CPR.


And sure. The saltwater mixing with the freshwater,
changes in light-filtration,
changes in temperature,
salination,
and the death of crucial life within marine ecosystems resulted in the death of everything that lived in those seas and oceans.


But God just magically un-died-ed them later too.


Which, ok, yea ... he could have just done for ALL the animals and never needed an ark.


Or he could have just not drowned puppies and kittens because of a violent and decades-long rage about humans throwing parties he wasn't invited to.


He also could have just been a hands-on parent, and avoided becoming forgotten and feeling rejected.


And yea. He could have gone into therapy for his insecurity and lack of personal accountability.


And he could have just RECONCILED with the humans, non-violently.

Or he could have just ended the humans without making them suffer horribly, and without needing to drown puppies;
- like turning those humans into salt, or simply making the "bad" ones unable to have more kids.


But inflicting suffering is fun. And he had a clinically insane point to make;
-which people had no way of knowing about, because all they had to base that on ... were the rumors started by an eccentric religious guy who was building a big boat; in an era when the needed technologies and materials didn't exist.


But those people should have LEARNED from the Epics Of Gilgamesh ... that "these things happen".


Also, God didn't have to worry about the ant-eaters eating the ants, nor the carnivores eating the other animals, etc, because he shrank all the animals into tiny ceramic figurines.


That's also how animals on other continents made it to the ark.


Divine tornados carried all the miniaturized animals to the ark.


Sloths can't swim.
They also can't run from predators. So they can't survive a trek across regions they aren't equipped for.
Penguins can survive crossing deserts.
So they had to be carried to the ark.
Duh.


It's also how they could all fit on the ark.


Noah just needed some crates or shelves or something.


That's why Noah's family didn't have to magically make food, and magically shovel more poop-per-hour than is logistically possible.


It's why they didn't have to breath in all those fumes from mountains of old poop and a flood of aging urine.


Ceramic figurines don't eat and don't have to relieve themselves.


THINK, athetits, think!

It all proves "true", if you'll just use your God-given imaginations to make it true.


The world's scientists in many different fields are all part of an ongoing global conspiracy of carefully synchronized fake scientific data, in order to trick the world out of its "salvation".


-Which, ok, yea, now that I really think about it, would mean people are ending up in a "Hell" for reasons which have f*ckall do with morality or "free will", because they're being tricked into "missing the boat". Which would actually be a really bad "plan".
But that's besides the point!


One of these days, us Christians are going to INTERCEPT one of the many and ongoing correspondences needed to orchestrate such a devious global conspiracy to hide the truth!


Maybe it'll be an email.


Maybe it'll be a hidden video.


Maybe it'll be on a POST IT note.


But we WILL get it.


We will capture one of those conversations and then you'll see!