Did Jesus Rise From the Dead? - Dale Allison

It would be a very curious thing, for an unlimited Super-Being to: a.) Preplan an event, and also b.) preplan wanting all humans (ever after) to "know" about that event, But then: c.) make it happen when literally no humans are there to see it actually happen, and yet d.) not bother to preserve enough evidence to compel all minimally-intelligent and minimally-honest reviewers to accept that it happened, nor to e.) Make the scant evidence readily available, at all times, to everyone in the world. Which event? This is where it gets orders of magnitude more bizarre: * One of that Super-Being's multiple personalities (his Daddy Dom personality) * sends his "Son" (submissive boy personality), *[while his radically unforgiving, insecure, ghost voyeur personality just watches], *to impregnate a child [obviously, without *true* consent], * to create a Kosher Meat Puppet [which would NOT be a "person". Also, that hunk of meat would NOT be genetically from the lineage of the house of David. Thus, it could not really be argued to be the "messianic" figure (of that definitely false religion)] *to treat it as a "second Adam", even though the "first Adam" is a fictional character, * to animate if for ~ 32 years, *wastes most of those years doing "God knows what", * spends maybe a couple of years (at most) wandering around being cryptic, and preachy, and bigoted, *hardly ever feels like healing anyone, * forgets to actually articulate a lot of really important things [including things he plans to judge us about] * has violent and irrational mood swings that are so over-the-top that later fans have to convert those into "metaphors" just for Public Relations and Damage Control, *fails to fulfill even ONE SINGLE "messianic prophecy" in the list of prophecies written about in the proven-false religion the Jesus-puppet (according to those rumor-based legends) was here to represent, *and all so that a "perfectly ethical Super-Being" could do a mock-sacrifice (dishonestly dressed up as an actual sacrifice), ... * so that he could "forgive" humans (but only a tiny minority of lucky true-religion guessers) ... for the moral crime of being born with the imperfections that very same Super-Being forced us all (against our wills) to have in the first place. Even more strange, that "God's" submissive-son personality didn't even want to go through with it when the time came. He had to be pressured HARD into it by his own Dom personality. "Hold up. Wait. Why aren't you doing this very painful thing? After all, it was your idea." "Uhm, ... yeah, well, I can't die, because I'm God, so ...," "Ok. Great point. But so am I. So I can't actually die either. And if we're gonna LIE to the people about "dying", but still ACTUALLY suffer for a few hours, shouldn't you do it?" "I would. But I already planned for you to do it." But we can always just say "the son so loved the world that he sent his only Father to die". We're clearly just making this shit up as we go along anyway. We can "require" any form of ritual we want to. We make the rules." "Actually, no. "We" don't make these arbitrary rules. I do. You just have to follow them, except whenever you don't agree with them, like with a lot of the Commandments. But I don't want to go through that pain. And that just leaves you to do it". "Actually, what about our Ghost personality? Why can't he do it?" "Because you know how he is. He would never forgive us, if he feels like we've been unfair to him. He literally never forgives anyone after he feels "trespassed"." "Good point. Fine. I'll do it. But I want the most praise, from now on. " "That's fair". So then he totally "does the thing". But then comes back with a different face. And nobody dares to ask why. I'm guessing wild wolves ate the old face. It's just a shame (for Jesus' sake) that "Paul" was wrong about Jesus coming back in a totally different body and a totally different kind of body. Although I suppose that worked out for the best ... for Thomas. I mean, after he washed his hands.